My Twilight Mom Time

I finally gave in to this long time urge of buying the Twilight book. I’ve seen the movie more than once and I’m proud to say, it’s the only love story I’ve appreciated. I’m an action/suspense movie lover. Drama and love stories totally don’t appeal to me. If it’s not for my husband renting these types of movies, I would never bother watching them. But he takes the time to rent one every now and then for his amusement. Not really because he cares to watch them, but because he totally loves watching me cry over drama scenes. I’m really very shallow and a little bit of drama thrown at me and you’ll see me crying hysterically. That’s why I avoid them. Love stories, on the otherhand, bore me to death.

But not the Twilight movie. For one, it’s suspense and has some action in it that’s why it appealed to me. But there’s something in that story that caught my interest and I can’t figure it out at that time. So I got curious about the book because the written version is usually way much better than what you see on screen. And I was totally right.

I started reading the four hundred plus pages on Friday night and finished it by Sunday night. My husband said that if I didn’t care to get up and feed them from time to time, I could’ve finished the book by Saturday. I was totally hooked. Suffice to say, I was intoxicated the whole time reading it. It’s like I got transported to a different place and time and all I cared about was the story that was slowly unraveling in my eyes. No worries and responsibilities. Just taking the time to enjoy the emotions that accompanied every word I read.

And then it dawned on me. The reason why I’m so addicted with Twilight is not really because of the story, but because it brings me back these emotions I used to enjoy before. I remember the time when I really don’t care about anything else but love. When I was free to do nothing and just linger on those happy moments without anyone depending on me to do something. In other words, all I cared about was to go after what would make me happy and feel good. It sounded selfish but I was free to be myself.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m still so much in love with my husband and my kids and I wouldn’t trade them for anything else in this world. But the butterflies in my stomach and the overwhelming throbbing of my heart that sometimes felt like it wanted to explode out of me whenever my husband is around or touches me, has somehow been buried with the daily facts of life. The responsibilities of raising a family has shifted our focus from wanting to have more of each other, to what we need to do in order to provide well enough for our family. And though we are doing really good at the latter, the process somehow made us forget.

And Twilight makes me remember. It makes me remember how it feels to want something so bad that all I cared about is getting more of it, no matter how. And Edward Cullen? He makes me remember how it feels to be wanted… in a very intoxicating, addicting, kind of way! Too bad he’s just a fictional vampire… lol!

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