Cover of Stuck: Why We Can't (or Won't) Move On
“Make peace with your past so it won’t screw up the present“. I love this quote. How many of you are still living in your past? How many are finding their present to be draining and plainly unbearable? Do you find yourself drowning in your to do lists and can barely get by? Do you often find yourself staring out of nowhere only to catch yourself thinking about what happened to you again?
Chances are you’re stuck in your past. Everyone has a past. Whether it’s a happy or traumatic one, most people either cherish it or learn from it and usually move on. Those that are stuck have usually no energy to be in the present. And these people usually experience the same type of draining events happening to them over and over again.
“Well, I didn’t choose this to be happening to me, it just keeps on happening.” “It’s not my fault that I always get stuck with mean people. Who would want that? I certainly didn’t wish for it to happen!” “It’s fate that I keep on attracting unfortunate events to my life even if I don’t want it.” “Because there are simply bad, mean people out there who looks for people to prey on, and they keep on finding me.” “I keep on trying to be positive but it still happens.”
Ok, you are unfortunate, I get it. While I’m sad that this keeps on happening to you, I would also like to help you pull yourself out from the blackhole that you are in. But it is YOU who’s gonna do it. Not me, not your family, or your friends. It’s all about YOU. I know you didn’t do this to yourself. But stop being a victim and start taking charge of your life.
First thing’s first. What do you always talk about when you open your mouth? Do you always find yourself talking about your unfortunate events? If you keep on talking about your sad experiences, you’re also thinking about those things as well. And I’m sure you’re very emotional about it as well. So guess where you’re spending the energy you have left? Uh-huh. And law of attraction states that you expand whatever you spend your energy on. That’s why it keeps on happening to you. Knowing what you want is one thing. But spending your energy on what you DON’T want is another…. and surely more powerful! So be careful.
Be an observer to yourself and just notice what you like to talk about with people… with your friends, most of the time. Get an honest friend to tell you the truth. “Well, I need to talk about it or I’ll explode.” You can vent, sure. But if that’s all you talk about with every friend you see, then your dwelling on it. There are other more productive outlets you can do. Get a hobby. Workout. Read a book. Sleep. Whatever it is that’ll help you release it. Feel it at the moment. You’re human, it’s perfectly normal to feel it. Then let it go. It’s not worth it to hang on to these negative feelings. You don’t deserve it.
I’m sure you know people who just have it “easy”. Those people who are so fortunate to always get what they want that you sometimes hate them for being lucky. Set aside your feelings of wanting to kill them for a sec and study their patterns and habits. What do they have in common? Where do they spend their time with? What do they talk about most of the time? You will notice that most of them are in the other end of the spectrum compared to you. They’re the ones who talk about “greatness”. They’re the ones who talk about what good things happen to them recently. They’re the ones who would rather spend time “creating” or going after their dreams rather than nonsense talking. They’re the ones who are in CHARGE of their life.
Now some people are so stuck with their past they need professional help before they could move on. It’s OK to see a specialist. Recognize that you need help and get it! It’s about taking the first step. It’s all about CHOICES. “Really? Coz it wasn’t my choice to be in this mess in the first place.” Yes, but you have a choice now to keep on yapping, to get professional help, or to start helping yourself. So what’s it gonna be?
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Real Talk! For me it was hard and extremely challenging to figure out why I was in such a funk. I hated the present, didn’t wanna think about the future and wouldn’t even go near the past. Through time I’ve realized the problems I have now are in part do to my past and not having closure. Not having closure with my father. Not having closure with my daughters father. Not having closure with my first love. I didn’t realize how much they impacted me until I started digging. What is at the surface is deceiving. It’s hard to admit you have a problem, and even more challenging (for me) to ask for help. The first step is acknowledging there is a problem. I don’t really know how to go about finding closure and getting unstuck, but I have to try, someway, somehow. For the sake of my daughter, my future, and myself.
I consider myself one of the lucky ones. Although I have some negative self talk, I was never one to complain or wallow in it. I do like to rant once in a while.
Once I embraced the law of attraction, I set up some affirmations to help with the negative talk.
“It’s easy for me to notice when I’m speaking or thinking negatively”
“I always recognize when I’m speaking or thinking negative thoughts”
“It’s easy for me to change my thought pattern and focus on what I do want”
“It’s easy for me to shift toward more positive thought.”
Those affirmations helped me shift very quickly into the direction I desired to go.
Debbie Lattuga´s last [type] ..EFT Tapping – Woo Woo?
This is Great Cherrie and all sooooo true – I have been there and done that, pointing the finger at others when it was myself to blame and talking about negative things instead of the positive things that I really did want to happen in my Life. It takes what it takes to get to that point of being tired of being negative and everyone is different. When I finally starting loving myself more, stopped blaming others and realized that I was the one who had the power – that is when it all started to change for the better. Yes, It is up to us – You and what You are going to do for Yourself.
Ohhhhh Cherrie, I so needed this post. Hit home. Positivity is infectious and you are so right that we need to be careful what we put out there! Well said!! XXOO
Oh I can not tell you how stuck I am.. I don’t think a tub of butter can get me unstuck! LOL Great post.. Lots to think about.
Karla Bond´s last [type] ..Excercise TV
Great thought-provoking points. I need to do some of this myself.
I love the TONE of this post! No accusations or blame, but still no shirking from the realization that each of us is completely and absolutely 100% RESPONSIBLE and Accountable for everything going on in our lives.
Not an easy thing to face – but crucial if we’re going to step into the greatness of which we are each capable and oh, so deserving.
Thanks, Cherrie. I too needed this today.
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I love this post. It’s so empowering to know that we have a choice as to how we will face the reality…. with what perspective: a happy and positive one or a negative and depressing attitude? Love it. It’s all about seeing ourselves as candles lighting up this dark world.. with a purpose with a plan spreading love and joy to other people.
Awesome post!
Blessings,
Eren
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You are so right. It just makes me laugh when I hear people doing this to themselves. As they say “You are what you think you are.”
When bad stuff happens instead of blaming look at yourself first and see if you had anything to do with it. If not then get over it and move on. Life will be much happier for you.
Debbie